Seven is a week away!

Anna Kate, in one week you will be 7! I love to look back on birthdays and find my favorite pictures from each year. It gets harder and harder to remember those sweet days. I love to see the transformation in you and I can also reflect on the transformation of myself as a mommy and a person.

These first months we were so busy with trying to figure out a schedule, not getting any sleep, and spending lots of days alone because of Bryant's job. As much as I loved to baby-sit when I was younger, being the mommy was more difficult than I could ever have imagined and looking back now I know I struggled with some very real postpartum issues. I was totally consumed with fear and worry and I was totally absorbed with myself and not focused on the blessing of a healthy child and what God had in store for my life and family. Thankfully I was apart of an amazing Bible study. This is where I can really remember Jesus tugging at my heart. My friend Elizabeth lead the study for several years and some words of hers have always stuck with me. She said "do you know, that you know, that you know you will go to Heaven?" I remember the first time she said that I was like...hmmmm well I know who Jesus is so "yes" (I was raised in a wonderful church and knew a lot about Jesus but didn't truly understand the relationship. I was completely living life for myself).  God took that thought right then and there and began to work in me. He began to soften my heart and I began my walk with Jesus.

Things began to get a little easier as you started sleeping better but I still caught myself just finding things to do to make each day go by to get to be able to sleep. You were such a good sport. Just going with the flow (most of the time haha!)..... When I think about this time I was still just allowing life to pass by and totally missing the abundant life waiting for me! If you are reading this and know about Jesus but don't have a relationship with him, I really encourage you to begin to pray for God to soften your heart and allow Jesus to enter and become your Lord and Savior. Ask for forgiveness for mistakes of the past. It will be the best decision you will ever make! We should not live our lives selfishly (as I did for a long time!). We will totally miss out on so many things and so much joy that awaits us!

A very busy little girl. Always bringing happiness and smiles. Keeping us on our toes!

Then we throw another one into the mix! Ha! You are the most amazing big sister. You are such a wonderful example for Corban to follow and he is your biggest fan. I feel like I owe you a HUGE apology for this time in life. You got very sick and I totally missed it because I was so wrapped up in a new baby and again myself! Thankfully you quickly bounced back and haven't missed a beat since! Isn't it amazing that even when we are not walking obediently, God is still blessing us!

So much grace on one sweet little face :)

Your third birthday.....things are leveling out. We have fallen into a good routine at home being a family a 4. However, looking back I was still going through the motions. Not being obedient to God and not honoring him with my behavior (gossip, jealousy, greed, anxiety). I am most thankful for grace and mercy! I have begun to understand that it's not about knowing who Jesus is. Our preacher said a lot of people sit in church every Sunday and can quote scripture with the best of them but have totally missed the relationship! It's about completely surrendering our lives and taking ourselves off of the throne and allowing Jesus to be King.

This picture captures what a wonderful big sister you are. ALWAYS looking out for Corban, making sure he has everything he needs and is safe. Being a mommy of two has brought me to my knees many, many nights and even flat on my face. I have finally begun to realize that true joy comes only from accepting Jesus as my personal savior. It's not just about knowledge of Jesus, it's about having a relationship with HIM. Talking to God through prayer, studying the Bible, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide your steps, walking obediently and receiving the many blessings he wants to bestow upon us.

I am so thankful to have you at work with me each day. That is a huge blessing!!! You are a true ray of light in your classroom. I love how you will play with anyone no matter who they are and are learning so many life lessons through the ups and downs of childhood. I can really see you changing and being molded into the person God wants you to be. I learned in a training last week that when we don't get an immediate smile from a person, our brains innately go to negative thoughts. I know your sweet smile will always show others how kind you are and what a giving heart you have.

As I think about the last 7 years I am reminded to not let each day pass allowing myself to take it for granted, but to live each day intentionally following the plan God has for my life and to presume positivity. I can absolutely see where He has used your life to bring me closer to Him and I thank you for that! I'm sure there are many others you have impacted and will impact as you grow each year. We pray over you daily that you will know Jesus in a very real and personal way, that you follow the plans that God has for your life and use the talents He blesses you with to glorify Him.

As much as I have been ashamed of the things I have done in my life and the sin I allowed in, I truly believe that I am forgiven because of Jesus' work on the cross. He died for me and for you. He stands in the gap between us and God. It is never too late to surrender your life to God and allow Jesus to be King.  Don't let another day go by where you miss the abundant blessings waiting for you!!

"'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.'" Romans 14:11